THE MS PAINT BUREAU + THE INFORMATION PROCESSOR

a group of people looking at a guy in a box drawing pictures of what the want on paint

Welcome to the M.S Paint Bureau Established 2008

The Bureau essentially receives information and processes it into MS Paint documents. This is undertaken in a number of ways.
The images can be processed live as part of an Info-Processor performance or they can be produced online. The online system is a convoluted representation of the Info-processor system. To analyse this system we must go back and look at the foundation of the bureau in which it exists.

The Genius Mouse drawing system was the first used by the bureau’s staff. The drawings were on a field of black with pink and green being the only colours. The tool bar was much the same as ms paint system. This would lead me to point fingures toward its originality. Below are images of the genius mouse and the colour schemes involved.

Sopwith

Genius Mouse

From these humble beginnings ms paint bureau staff were schooled secondarily. One computer class a week in an institution which can only be described as being a vestige of British rule in Ireland. This privilege was withdrawn from The Bureau’s future staff member.This occurred when his use of the apple animation program was deemed obscene.The program being much like paint.The piece in question unfortunately is not still in existence so it can only be described.A gentleman wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans walks on screen and proceeds to unzip his fly and take out his mickey (penis) then with a swing of his hips he swings his willy around and around like a fan blade. His penis begins to grow bigger and bigger until after eight or so rotations the gentleman chops his own head off. His head falls to the ground with a liberal amount of blood (created with both paintbrush and airbrush tools) . After this his headless corpse with its jeans around its ankles slumps to the floor. The neck hole expelling an ever increasing circular pool of blood.end. For this, computer privileges were cruelly withdrawn. Despite its ‘obscene’ content it clearly showed interest and deep understanding of the workings of the program.

In an insane move after 4 years of mind opening art-study somehow our staff member seemed to have missed the point all together and for some reason got a job in AIB card management. A miserable existence, but it became apparent that all pc’s must have ms paint. The I.T department need it to take and process screen shots.In an attempt for some sort of creative outlet pictures were drawn. After a late night on a saturday shift a toilet break was requested and the Job was left. Our staff member wandered straight into the arms of another pack of arseholes.

The bureau itself was founded secretly as a subsidiary of CITI BANK. Hugh Cooney was in the employ of said bank and initially used the medium of MS Paint for creative correspondence. It was used as a liaison between professionals as a general interest in cats, teddies and among other things design ewok costumes.Below are some examples of this correspondence.

EDUCATED CAT

EDUCATED CAT

ewok smash

endgame

It was also used to threaten the death of work colleagues, this was done by illustrating the potential manner in which they might meet their end. Here are some examples from the Death of Bart Series .

CLOWN DROP KICKS BART IN THE FACE

CLOWN DROP KICKS BART IN THE FACE

BART'S LAST MOMENTS

BART’S LAST MOMENTS

These were the beginnings of the now humble bureau.(It has been added to a long list of reasons for the financial crash)

From this the Information Processor was established as part of the Bureau. 1 humanoid(or not) in a 4ft by 4ft box  with a projector, a printer, paper and a stack of frames. Image requesters..  requested anything they wanted. The the Info-Processor would… process the information as it saw fit (at a top speed of 14 request an hour). Requesters would receive their images printed and framed. Since then the Bureau has been producing images as commissions, presents. Also as part of of Twitter and Facebook Feeds. The Bureau has become an office where MS Paint is the only concern.

As a part of the MS Paint Bureau the Info Processor allow the audience to create an Image by Inserting completed request forms into the Info-Processor (The Info-Processor is interchangeable though on 100 percent of occasions to date it has been fitted with a Hugh Cooney) The Bureau requires a man, a computer, a printer, a projector, power, frames, paper and the relevant power cables. The Viewer received their request realised in misprint at a rate of 14 images per Hour. It also re-creates the hellish feeling of working in an office for said inserted human.

The Info-Processor was first performed at  Synth Eastwood Cycles Show in oct 2008, since then it has been to the Flatpack Festival in Brighton with Synth Eastwood.It has also been as far afield as Adelaide Australia as part Paper Horse Studio exhibits. Here are some Images taken and processed in the first run.
you can find more image from other shows in the galleries of this sight. Who know’s you may find your long lost idea realised in Ms Paint.

dsc0064-13007057859319facebc33032829072_dfce6e0a99synthnightflight-032

hi-hugh-john-from-college

suggestion-eddie-hobbs-giving-an-ewok-a-blowjob

minotaur-playing-an-instrument-of-my-choice-baby-sitting-in-the-woods

laura-mulvey

zig-and-zag-riding-a-unicorn-under-a-full-moon_v2

the-dying-tiger-is-eating-my-soul

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